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Crying in H Mart : a memoir
2021
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Library Journal Review
As the daughter of an American father and a Korean mother, Zauner had an Oregon upbringing that was both typically American and undeniably Korean. From an early age, Zauner enjoyed her mother's spicy, aromatic Korean fare; it wasn't until adulthood that she realized that her mother's unique way of expressing love was by preparing particular Korean dishes. As a child and teen, Zauner felt cheated of the cuddly nurturing love that her friends received from their mothers; eventually she chose to attend college on the East Coast, hoping to break free from her mother's control. Zauner was at loose ends until she was confronted by the reality of her mother's cancer diagnosis, after which she threw herself headfirst into researching the disease, caring for her mother, and learning to prepare the particular Korean dishes that her mother might find appetizing. Neither medicine nor Zauner's nourishing cooking was able to save her mother's life, but the journey to the end brought Zauner close to her Korean roots. It also inspired Psychopomp, Zauner's first album under the name Japanese Breakfast (her solo musical project). Zauner herself narrates the audiobook, giving it emotional heft, as well as correct pronunciation of the Korean terms and foods that play pivotal roles. VERDICT This memoir of loss and identity is both personal and universal. Essential for public libraries.--Ann Weber, Bellarmine Coll. Prep., San Jose, CA.
Publishers Weekly Review
Musician Zauner debuts with an earnest account of her Korean-American upbringing, musical career, and the aftermath of her mother's death. She opens with a memory of a visit to an Asian American supermarket, where, among fellow shoppers who were "searching for a piece of home, or a piece of ourselves," Zauner was able to grieve the death of her mother, Chongmi, with whom she had a difficult relationship. Her white American father met her mother in Seoul in 1983, and Zauner immigrated as an infant to Eugene, Ore. In Zauner's teenage years in the late 2000s, Chongmi vehemently opposed Zauner's musical dreams and, in one outburst, admitted to having an abortion after Zauner's birth "because you were such a terrible child!" The confession caused a rift that lasted almost six years, until Zauner learned of her mother's cancer diagnosis. After Chongmi's death in 2014, Zauner's career took off, and during a sold-out concert in Seoul, Zauner writes, she realized her success "revolved around death, that the songs... memorialized her." The prose is lyrical if at times overwrought, but Zauner does a good job capturing the grief of losing a parent with pathos. Fans looking to get a glimpse into the inner life of this megawatt pop star will not be disappointed. (Apr.)
Summary
#1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER * From the indie rock sensation known as Japanese Breakfast, an unforgettable memoir about family, food, grief, love, and growing up Korean American--"in losing her mother and cooking to bring her back to life, Zauner became herself" (NPR). * CELEBRATING OVER ONE YEAR ON THE NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER LIST

In this exquisite story of family, food, grief, and endurance, Michelle Zauner proves herself far more than a dazzling singer, songwriter, and guitarist. With humor and heart, she tells of growing up one of the few Asian American kids at her school in Eugene, Oregon; of struggling with her mother's particular, high expectations of her; of a painful adolescence; of treasured months spent in her grandmother's tiny apartment in Seoul, where she and her mother would bond, late at night, over heaping plates of food.

As she grew up, moving to the East Coast for college, finding work in the restaurant industry, and performing gigs with her fledgling band--and meeting the man who would become her husband--her Koreanness began to feel ever more distant, even as she found the life she wanted to live. It was her mother's diagnosis of terminal cancer, when Michelle was twenty-five, that forced a reckoning with her identity and brought her to reclaim the gifts of taste, language, and history her mother had given her.

Vivacious and plainspoken, lyrical and honest, Zauner's voice is as radiantly alive on the page as it is onstage. Rich with intimate anecdotes that will resonate widely, and complete with family photos, Crying in H Mart is a book to cherish, share, and reread.
Table of Contents
1Crying in H Martp. 3
2Save Your Tearsp. 12
3Double Lidp. 24
4New York Stylep. 36
5Where's the Wine?p. 49
6Dark Matterp. 67
7Medicinep. 78
8Unnip. 92
9Where Are We Going?p. 108
10Living and Dyingp. 119
11What Procellous Awesomeness Does Not in You Abound?p. 130
12Law and Orderp. 145
13A Heavy Handp. 149
14Lovelyp. 158
15My Heart Will Go Onp. 170
16Jatjukp. 182
17Little Axep. 192
18Maangchi and Mep. 207
19Kimchi Fridgep. 217
20Coffee Hanjanp. 228
Acknowledgmentsp. 241
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